Sunday, August 12, 2018

The Sunday Currently | 11


The Sunday Currently | 11

Finally getting back to posting here. It's been way too long since I last visited my blog. I posted a entry about the reason why. Anyways, as I always say, the link up is here.

Reading Perfect People by Peter James. I've actually just finished it minutes ago. Hmm.. I've had that book for years and I've never gotten to finishing the first chapters. It took me about 2 years to pick it up again. The book was okay. Some parts I didn't like because of the scientific aspects, some parts I couldn't let the book go. I even stayed up until 3 in the morning yesterday.

Writing this post + the new vocabulary I found on the book above. I always write down any new vocabulary I've never heard before, write them down and read them from time to time.

Listening Exo's Peter Pan. My sister is going down memory lane and her Exo-L days listening to Exo's old songs. 

Smelling the Glade perfume on the wall socket 

Wishing for a cute boyfriend lol honestly who doesn't? 

Hoping for my cousin's student visa to be approved!!!! I really hope she gets approved. We've been waiting for so long.

Wearing a grey T-shirt from Forever 21 and a spandex

Loving this particular ice cream cone!!! I don't know the brand name but the convenience store near my house sells it! I had it last week and then I just kept coming and buying it. I bet the owner's like wtf

Wanting a chocolate milkshake!!! I've been craving since last week. I went to McDonalds last week because I found out they sell milkshakes like what?? I didn't know that. I've tried it and got disappointed.

Needing a hot shower

Feeling lethargic because of the heat. 

Clicking through the website of our public library. Looking for other books that will catch my attention

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Now back to the vocab notes I was writing. Ciao.

Thursday, August 09, 2018

My Whereabouts


I can't believe it's been a whole full year since my last post wow. To anyone reading this (if there is even anyone lol), hello, I hope you are doing amazing today. It's so hard to convey a year long whereabout in one post but I'll try really hard to summarize where I've been and what I've been doing. If you're reading this, please do try to stay and read everything.d

I was diagnosed with stage 2 papillary thyroid cancer almost a year ago. It was such a scary experience and to be honest, I still don't know if it sunk in yet that I actually /had/ the C word. Yes. Cancer. Never in a million years did I except to get it. You know, you go day to day thinking you'll never get it and then bam, you have it. At first I didn't want to believe it. Like, out of all the serial killers and pedophiles, I'm the one to get cancer. How unfair right? Life is always unfair. To make matters worst than it already is, I was put on the urgent list of surgeries. The cancer was as big as a golf ball. Had radioactive iodine therapy and was given the "based on the result, it is very clear that you have no evidence of any metastasis cancer cells." Cancer free since June 2018. Forever on a Synthroid maintenance.

I also graduated college 2 months ago! I found out I was cancer free the day after my convocation. Anyways, after 5 years of on-and-off relationship with college, I was finally able to graduate. My diagnosis came during my last semester. Honestly, I thought I wouldn't be able make it in time but my lovely professors had helped me so so much! They were so understanding and its quite touching. The one that went above and beyond was my Statistics professor. We had a heart to heart talk about my situation and how he's going to accommodate me, I cried in front of him. All my professors were amazing though.

I also went to a Seventeen concert!!! This was way way back in August 2017. I was contemplating whether to go or save up for Wanna One because duh Minhyun and Seongwoo and Wanna One was going to disband but I fought my own demons and decided to see my bias group. It was such a surreal experience. I will never forget it. Though the organizer was a fail, from not sending the Carat bongs in time and putting huge ass speakers on the left side of the venue so most of us couldn't see the front. I kept moving and the bodyguard might have been pissed so he moved me to VIP instead. I didn't take a lot of photos. I will never understand the concept of just taking photos and videos during concerts to the point you're literally watching it from your phone. I paid 500 bucks for my sister and I, I AM SEEING THEM WITH MY ACTUAL EYES. Here's one of the few photos I took.
I don't have a decent photo because I was screaming and jumping the whole time.
Now you know where I've been and what I did. I was in the hospital most of the time. Getting poked by needles and getting radiation and being unhealthy. I still feel a lot like meeh up until now. My endo told me that sometimes it takes a whole year to adjust my Synthroid medicine to the right dosage so I might feel fatigued and just basically dead tired all the time. I also developed vertigo after getting a biopsy. This is the culprit of why I couldn't attend one of my best friend's funeral. He died a few days before my birthday last year. Died of bone cancer.

Friday, May 26, 2017

가끔


You know there are times, so many times, where I would write my thoughts and feelings in this blog but never actually publishes it. I don't know. I just feel like it shouldn't be posted because who would want to read such a negative post in the first place? No one. Usually, these "posts" are usually made between 2am to 3am, where my irrelevant thoughts are usually scattered everywhere.

Sometimes when I listen to music during these times, I suddenly think to myself, "what am I doing with my life?", "why did I end up like this?" and so many other things that just makes me feel useless. Why am I living my life this way when all my friends have already gone and fixed their lives. I would be lying if I say I'm not envious, I'm extremely envious. How nice would it be to have my life together like that too. I just don't know how to start over.

Why am I not able to get a job? It's been so long since I left my job. Maybe I shouldn't have left it. I should have just held in every insult the chefs and customers have made to me every shifts. Now I feel like I don't belong to anything and I feel so empty. I wanna feel like I belong again. But how do I do that when not even a convenience store would hire me. I just don't get it. My resume's not that bad looking.  I've got experience. I'm confused as to why I'm not getting calls and when I do get interviews, they always call me I'll call you back again which is the universal code to we dont want to hurt your feelings so we'll shoo you away with that sentence, have your hopes up for the next 2 weeks and not receive any call at all.

My life is such a mess right now. I can't even. I don't know. I just. It's been like this for too long.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

I /had/ a Job



Ok first things first, this is probably going to be a long read. So if you have time and are curious, sit back and relax. I'd always write how much I needed a job on this blog. I needed money for myself, family emergencies and Seventeen also announced their tour in Toronto. So I thought if I applied for every open position on this job board, maybe I'd get at least one interview. And so I did. It was an attendant for a laundromat. I walked in, got interviewed and got the job. It was amazing since it was literally only blocks away from my house. I could go literally go home for my break and come back and still have time. That's how close it was.

Prior to my first day, I wouldn't say I slept early but I slept earlier than when I usually do. It was around 11pm when I settled down on my bed. But no matter how much I try to sleep, I just couldn't. My heart would beat so fast without any reason and I actually got on twitter and told my friends through direct message. Eventually I did fall asleep around 2am but was met with a heart palpitations so severe it woke me up and could hear it. Out of nowhere, I just felt like I needed to search up reviews on my job.

I wasn't expecting anything to come up since it was just a small landromat. But I was shocked to click on a website with complaints from previous employees. In the website, a former employee stated that he always comes up with an excuse saying a newly hired employee quit. Before I went to sleep, he had actually called me to say that the newly hired college girl quit on the spot. I didn't find it suspicious it was the time before I checked the reviews. It also says there that he was a drug addict and a high key pervert. Another employee commented that when she used to work there, he would rub against her.

I definitely could not sleep. I ended up sleeping at 4am. My mom went in an hour later to wake up me. I was afraid to tell her about it since she was so happy about me finally getting a job but I had texted my sister about it the moment I find the website. She was concerned and she usually does not show her feelings. So I was surprised. But something told me that I should tell my mom and then I did. She said she suddenly feels weird and nervous that something was going to happen to me. But I went anyway. My shift was 8am when it was initially 4pm. Remember when he said an employee quit? He told me to take her morning shift instead.

So I walked to work but he was late for about 15-20 minutes. I was waiting outside for so long and I'm the type of person who are always cold so I was dying out there. He eventually apologized for being tardy and not even 5 minutes in, he said that he forgot something at home and that he would come back home, get it and would be back to the store in a few seconds. I thought hmm okay maybe his house is near. I got customers who were angry because I couldn't take their clothes because I still don't know how to work their things. Not unless they wanted me to ruin their clothes. Few seconds my ass. It took him over an hour.  When he came back, he reeked of marijuana and the smell of the laundromat was unbearable.

He kept ordering me to do a task and before I could even finish it, he'd order me to do things again. And before I finished that task, he'd make me do something else again. He probably made me do about 20 chores in which all of them, I had not finished because he was constantly telling me to drop it and go to another task. He also got angry because I poured the soap first when he said it should have been the fabric softener first. Like what the fuck? He kept touching my hand when he was teaching me how to fold clothes. Bitch, I'm 22, don't you think I know how to fold clothes? A fucking pervert. During break, he kept inviting me to his office to eat. His non-existent office.

I spent 7 hours there before I thought I really can't take this anymore. At the same time, he screamed at me to keep up the fast pace because I still have a lot of things to do. Mind you that this was 30 minutes before my time is done. So I told him, what do you mean, its almost my time and I also have an appointment moved this afternoon since you changed my shift. During that time, a female walked in and asked if he's hiring. She got hired on the spot without even looking at her resume. So I was wondering if she had not came in, he would have probably kept me in there for another 8 hours because I realized, I was the only employee in that day. He told me he'll see me on Thursday (which is today) but I didn't tell him I'm quitting.

I left before my time and asked my other sister (the youngest) to meet me at the library near the place. I told her everything and I told my second sister when we got home and she said "you are so weak, if he constantly touched me, I would have ripped his balls with my own hands." Sent laughter to the 3 of us. I told my mom when she got home and she wanted to march down to the place and kill him. Told my dad and he surprisingly told me to quit and not even take the money. He usually just tells me to suck it up when I complain about work.

Wednesday night, he kept calling my phone but I didn't answer. He probably wants me to come in early because the new employee quit But that's just my theory. My mom told me to leave a message saying I quit because I was afraid to face him personally and tell him I aint coming back. So I waited until the store was closed and I left a message. Thursday morning, a few hours before this post, he kept calling and even left a message. I still have not opened it.

I'm sad that I don't have a job anymore and money for Seventeen concert and for my personal use but that's how I quit on the first day of work. But I'm so happy that I don't have to see that pervert drug addict man.

Cheers!

Saturday, April 08, 2017

The Sunday Currently | 10



Oh gosh! It's been a long time since I've last posted a Sunday Currently post! I have been so busy with my winter semester, it's been hella crazy, tiring and exhausting. I couldn't remember when was the last time I posted here. I wasn't able to reply to comments as well. Sorry! I've got 2 more weeks left of school and I'm still looking for a summer job because I won't be able to afford my summer semester ㅠㅠ. Anyways, I have some time to do a post, so here it is.

The Sunday Currently | 10

Reading Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

Writing this post + my importing final exam review notes 

Listening Nuest's Hello!! I can't believe this song has been released years ago. I remember this was my bop when I was in high school. I was watching PD 101 season 2 and they played it during Nues't's introduction and I can't believe I forgot about it. It's now on repeat.

Smelling that Glade thing you plug on the power socket and it makes the room smells good lol

Wishing for the semester to end well.

Hoping the two-toned lip tint I ordered to arrive faster!!! 

Wearing a jeggings + my H&M striped top

Loving scrolling through Instagram that posts bullet journal photos!! I've been so obsessed with them lately

Wanting to buy cute school supplies for my bullet journalling obsession 

Needing a job lol. How long have I've been saying this?

Feeling sick. Boo. I caught a cold a few days ago.

Clicking through my email and deleting unnecessary spam mails.  

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Yey. Now I should be back to studying. I still have 2 more big assignments left for the semester OTL. 

Join The Sunday Currently link up, originally composed by siddarthornton here!

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